Learning about myself

God often uses very normal experiences to speak volumes to our hearts. He has certainly done that for me. I've always been a girl who has loved the Lord all my life. I get excited about His Word, I love being at church because everything is about Him and He my most favorite topic to bring up in conversation.
But He showed me something new. Something I don't think was a big deal before, but now it could possibly keep me from some of the little blessings He has for me.

I was reading Oswald Chambers "My Utmost For His Highest" on May 30th and God convicted me about my faith. As I searched my heart I knew I trusted God, but there were things I thought He was keeping from me. Then God opened the door to show me I put unnecessary requirements on myself. I often think "I have to do my best or God will withhold something from me" when that isn't what He says at all. There is a point of missing a blessing if we don't follow God, but He never said we have to be perfect. He just said follow me. Here I am following Him and I'm telling Him I'm not good enough.

Some of this had come up a few Sundays ago when I realized I've been "chasing after God" when really all along He was chasing after me. I put unnecessary stress on myself that He didn't intend to be there.

It is fully healthy to have high goals to keep yourself accountable...but they aren't requirements. That's what I had made them.

So since those two "wake up" taps God has been encouragement me. Yesterday He showed me that He has given me everything I need for godliness (2 Peter 1:3). That means godliness with people, godliness in relationships and godliness in life choices. I have all that I need to make good decisions. I have all that I need to be a good person to other people. I have all that I need to have a good relationship. That was great, except I wanted to fix every relationship in my life right then and there. But those relationships are with other human beings who might need time to also be shown some things. So I tucked it in my heart and thought about how to apply it to myself without writing any lengthy letters to people.

This is a part of my OCD, wanting to correct something in every way right now! That's why I have piles of clothes, and then do a deep clean of my room one day. Its a whole bunch at one time, but not much consistency. Also another thing I am working on! haha.

So my encouragement to you would be to search your heart. Ask God to really show you what your motives are.

• Are there some things you could be doing better in? Have a better attitude? Speak up more? Speak up less?
• Are there some things you could be worrying about less? Stressing about little things? Stressing instead of trusting? Not giving yourself enough rest?

God does not expect perfection, just devotion. If you are truly seeking Him, He will reveal things in you that could use work, and that's good because that means He is alive and moving in you. But you have to make the decision if you will ignore Him, or if you will work on those things He points out. It's up to you, He won't force you to change. 

Are you willing?