My walk with God and my road of PURITY

Hey there! This is a little bit of my walk with God through my road of Purity so far.

When I was 12 I was going to youth group every Wednesday and to Teen Praise Choir every Sunday night. I was around high school people a lot, and it seemed everyone was either dating, or hanging out a lot. I guess I was sort of an "outcast" because I wasn't dating, I was the youngest in the group plus I was home schooled. But despite those things, I knew at least half the people and I hung out with some really cool ones in the group. Through my learning experience with what was around me, I couldn't help but notice the toll break-ups had in my friends lives. They were so sad after, and some friendships got ruined in the process. In my own mind I thought "why would I want to go through that? All I would get is a few months with one person, a painful breakup and repeat it again in a matter of weeks?" It seemed totally ridiculous to me. So I made up my mind, and made a commitment to God and to myself to not "date" (that's what everyone was calling it..so the title was suiting)

I was a part of a girls group that I had the blessing of sharing with some of my friends who were a few years older. It was a study on Purity. I had not heard the word before but I wanted to know more. The first meeting we had I was totally excited, I knew that it was exactly where I needed to be. Half way into it I realised I knew about purity all my life. God had been teaching me the whole time about waiting and being patient and not giving into something just because I wanted it. Some things that give us pleasure give twice as much pain in the end.

I was totally set. I wanted to preach it on a mountain. But I knew no one who was around my age wanted to hear anything about it. To them, dating was harmless because they chose to forget the pain. I hadn't even taken part in the trend and I remembered their pain.

So I grew older and learned more about the relationship world, and had some guys come in my life that I talked to. But I still held to my commitment, we were just friends getting to know each other. At 17 the reality of my decision hit home. I was in a relationship that tempted me to go farther than I wanted to. The result.....I stayed the course! Because of my hearts desire for purity, my ego didn't get in the way of God moving to my rescue me. He gave me strength to say "no" with quick confidence. You can probably guess that relationship didn't go far...and neither did the rest in years to come. I learned that guys don't like the word "no" when they are so used to the word "yes". I was like an alien. The funny thing was, they all read the same Bible I did and talked to the same God. But somehow I was the weird one! Go figure.

I'm 22 now. Which may seem young or old to you. I don't know everything. I still have more growing to do. But the best part about me is that the same 12 year old commitment from years ago...still stands in my life. It wasn't a weird commitment, it was logical, and I had every intention not to give into temptation. The temptations grow stronger by what seems like day by day...but I always remember WHY I made that commitment in the first place. I remind myself of the pain I saw in my friends lives, and I remember the excitement I had when God's voice and Word came together for me. There is absolutely no reason why it shouldn't effect me the same today. I'm still me. And there are still plenty of people around me to remind me that some things that give us pleasure give us twice as much pain in the end.

I held to my commitment from 10 years ago. It isn't too late to make yours. Look around you...oh my goodness, just turn on the TV and you'll see the cycle of dating and pain, and then dating and pain, over and over. So decide what kind of conditions you want your heart to be in.

I decided I wanted my husband to be the only one to call me his. The only one to hold my hand and the only one to kiss my lips. You may think it is necessary to have those things in a relationship, but let me be your example. I never kissed a guy and everyone of them didn't stay in my life. It isn't about kissing. It's about the person. If someone was missing their hand, and their lips, but was the same person you love...would you stay with them...or say that you wanted their hands and lips more than you wanted them? You might need a straight jacket in my opinion if that's really what you want!

The point is...God has a plan for you...a good plan. But you can't have His plan and your own...unless they are on the same road. And it will be harder and harder to change roads the farther you get. So if you have not made a commitment to yourself to not do whatever you are convinced will not be good for you...what is stopping you? Because if you wait long enough, there may not be much of you left to give to the person you'll really love.

I have a vision of my future marriage like Christmas. I don't need to give my husband anything but my heart...but when he sees all those shiny, pure, never touched before presents...he is totally going to be excited! And it will be my joy to make him feel special by being careful and wise in my choices. And because I kept those things safe, God will be able to carefully wrap them in His glory as they are presented.

This is no fairy tale. This is no joke. This is real life. As real as it can get. There is no illusions of it being perfect when it really is not. There is no sugar coating so that you can swallow it better. This is pure, natural truth. And it can be backed up if you open your eyes to look around.

My story is mine, no one else has it. But just like mine, yours can be amazing too!

(comment, ask me questions, share it...whatever you want to do)

Hope this was digested as sincere and not as "judging" (the world is so quick to accuse someone of "judging" these days). This is me. This is my life and road of purity so far. Not everyone has to like it.

One of my written commitments:

"September 24th 2004

My Commitment:
I know the man that I'm meant to be with is out there. He might even be one of my friends. So I may not know him yet but I love him. God will bring us together when we are ready. That's why I decide:
Not to date around just to have fun
To only be "with" one man, the man I will marry
To have my first passionate kiss at the alter
Not have sex until my wedding night with my new husband

Satan has so many ways to get to us. Dating and relationships is one of them. The world goes out, makes out, possibly has sex, breaks up and does it all over again. That will not be me. My life revolves around  because He is reliable, not like a relationship status that changes every month. God is the stronghold of my life!"

I've had one "boyfriend" and he did not hold my hand or kiss me. And I've had one guy when I was 17 that held my hand. Now, I am not going to give in to a relationship and let a guy become my boyfriend until God says otherwise, and I am not giving into holding a guys hand until God shows us both we are meant to be together. I'm still learning. And by God's grace and strength, that I fully trust in, I am going to be a virgin and not kiss until my wedding day. If you think I can't do it...

Just watch me! :)

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

I used to think nothing bad would happen to people who truly followed the Lord. In my own life, I've seen this isn't the case.
"God will never give you more than you can handle" but what we can handle is different for each person. Also, each person has their own struggles, temptations and "weak areas". Look at 2 Corinthians 12:1-10, mainly verses 7-10 "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong". Paul looked beyond what was happening to him, and saw what could happen through those circumstances. We each have our own things we are dealing with, but we need to look beyond them...to see if it is "working for the good of those who love the Lord and have been called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

We all also have our own decisions we have made and our own consequences that follow.
The thing about God not giving us anything we can't handle is that sometimes the things that are hard, aren't from Him. What we may think is from God might be what we want, and we put a "from God" sticker on it. Then we avoid discussions about using God's Word to test what we think He says. We get easily offended when we are questioned by others. And we pull away from people God would use to correct us. We don't want to give it up. We become comfortable in our decision. And after avoiding God's Word, avoiding people and walking on egg-shells, we silence the Holy Spirit and get comfortable in our ways.

I know about thinking something is from God, when really it was just me assuming it was.
I met someone and let myself get carried away into a relationship because I thought (told myself) it was God's plan. In the end, the thorn in my flesh was a broken heart by my own choice. God let it happen. But He didn't break my heart...and He didn't force me to stop what I was doing. I chose. And after my consequences, He was there to catch me. He didn't remove my thorn, or the memory of what had happened, but He gave me strength to make it through. He strengthened me to move forward. He helped me learn from it. To get something good out of it. He gave beauty to my mess.

I questioned God in my pain. I didn't understand why He let me get hurt, until I realized He may have brought the person in my life, but I let me impatience lead me. I assumed it was from the Lord without testing it to His Word and waiting for an answer. I told myself "it must be right" and went on praying "God have your way", when I wanted my own way.

I can tell you about being selfish, impatient and about waiting. But I'm not done with it yet. I'm not married and I don't know who my husband is yet. But I do know that rushing seems to have a track record of not working out well. We get stronger through our pain, but that doesn't mean we should walk into the fire. We should use God's Word before we make choices. We should seek His strength before we are in need of it. Paul talks about grace increasing where sin increases...but because of our sinful nature, some people may think it means you can do whatever you want. "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" (Romans 6:1-2) Learn your lesson...and turn away from things that will harm you. If your friend rushed into a relationship and got her heart broken, don't rush into a relationship. If your Dad says boys only have "one thing" on their mind, don't be with them alone. "Preserve sound judgement and discernment" (Proverbs 3:21) "Better a poor but wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knows how to use discernment" (Ecclesiastes 4:13) "lean not on your own understanding; but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil." (Proverbs 3:5-7)

God will be clear about things. He won't tell us anything without giving us a way to test what He says with The Word. This is why He is so reliable. If you don't have scripture, pray for it and wait until He provides it. Don't assume what God wants and don't assume what you hear is God until He gives you a way to test what He says. He knows humans, He knows saying "he said this" without anything to back it up or defend it, isn't going to hold in conversation. So pray for Him to show you. Get in His Word.

"When [satan] lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44). Study God's Word, become fluent in truth so that you may know what is not from God. And when God speaks to you, if you know His Word more, you will know it is Him sooner :) and be able to tel the devil to shut up when He tries to act like God.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). We go through temptation...but God will give us a way out...we just have to take it. Don't wait until it's too late to wait for the Lord.